It's been a while...

So I thought I would post some funny answers to tests I found on the internet. Some of them have been told and retold over the years but all of them are worth a chuckle...


The inhabitants of Egypt were called mummies. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by Camelot. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere, so certain areas of the dessert are cultivated by irritation. The Egyptians built the Pyramids in the shape of a huge triangular cube. The Pramids are a range of mountains between France and Spain.

The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first book of the Bible, Guinesses, Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. One of their children, Cain, asked "Am I my brother's son?" God asked Abraham to sacrifice Issac on Mount Montezuma. Jacob, son of Issac, stole his brother's birthmark. Jacob was a partiarch who brought up his twelve sons to be partiarchs, but they did not take to it. One of Jacob's sons, Joseph, gave refuse to the Israelites.


Pharaoh forced the Hebrew slaves to make bread without straw. Moses led them to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread, which is bread made without any ingredients. Afterwards, Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments. David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar. He fougth with the Philatelists, a race of people who lived in Biblical times. Solomon, one of David's sons, had 500 wives and 500 porcupines.


Without the Greeks, we wouldn't have history. The Greeks invented three kinds of columns - Corinthian, Doric and Ironic. They also had myths. A myth is a female moth. One myth says that the mother of Achilles dipped him in the River Stynx until he became intolerable. Achilles appears in "The Illiad", by Homer. Homer also wrote the "Oddity", in which Penelope was the last hardship that Ulysses endured on his journey. Actually, Homer was not written by Homer but by another man of that name.


Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock.


In the Olympic Games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled the biscuits, and threw the java. The reward to the victor was a coral wreath. The government of Athen was democratic because the people took the law into their own hands. There were no wars in Greece, as the mountains were so high that they couldn't climb over to see what their neighbors were doing. When they fought the Parisians, the Greeks were outnumbered because the Persians had more men.


Eventually, the Ramons conquered the Geeks. History call people Romans because they never stayed in one place for very long. At Roman banquets, the guests wore garlic in their hair. Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides of March killed him because they thought he was going to be made king. Nero was a cruel tyrany who would torture his poor subjects by playing the fiddle to them.


Then came the Middle Ages. King Alfred conquered the Dames, King Arthur lived in the Age of Shivery, King Harlod mustarded his troops before the Battle of Hastings, Joan of Arc was cannonized by George Bernard Shaw, and the victims of the Black Death grew boobs on their necks. Finally, the Magna Carta provided that no free man should be hanged twice for the same offense.


In midevil times most of the people were alliterate. The greatest writer of the time was Chaucer, who wrote many poems and verse and also wrote literature. Another tale tells of William Tell, who shot an arrow through an apple while standing on his son's head.


The Renaissance was an age in which more individuals felt the value of their human being. Martin Luther was nailed to the church door at Wittenberg for selling papal indulgences. He died a horrible death, being excommunicated by a bull. It was the painter Donatello's interest in the female nude that made him the father of the Renaissance. It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg invented the Bible. Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented cigarettes. Another important invention was the circulation of blood. Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100-foot clipper.


The government of England was a limited mockery. Henry VIII found walking difficult because he had an abbess on his knee. Queen Elizabeth was the "Vir- gin Queen." As a queen she was a success. When Elizabeth exposed herself be- fore her troops, they all shouted "hurrah." Then her navy went out and defeated the Spanish Armadillo.


The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespear. Shakespear never made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He lived in Windsor with his merry wives, writing tragedies, comedies and errors. In one of Shakespear's famous plays, Hamlet rations out his situation by relieving himself in a long soliloquy. In another, Lady Macbeth tries to convince Mac- beth to kill the King by attacking his manhood. Romeo and Juliet are an example of a heroic couplet. Writing at the same time as Shakespear was Miquel Cervantes. He wrote "Donkey Hote". The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote "Paradise Lost." Then his wife dies and he wrote "Paradise Regained."


During the Renaissance America began. Christopher Columbus was a great navigator who discovered America while cursing about the Atlantic. His ships were called the Nina, the Pinta, and the Santa Fe. Later the Pilgrims crossed the Ocean, and that was called the Pilgrim's Progress. When they landed at Plymouth Rock, they were greeted by Indians, who came down the hill rolling their war hoops before them. The Indian squabs carried porposies on their back. Many of the Indian heroes were killed, along with their cabooses, which proved very fatal to them. The winter of 1620 was a hard one for the settlers. Many people died and many babies were born. Captain John Smith was responsible for all this.


One of the causes of the Revolutionary Wars was the English put tacks in their tea. Also, the colonists would send their pacels through the post with- out stamps. During the War, Red Coats and Paul Revere was throwing balls over stone walls. The dogs were barking and the peacocks crowing. Finally, the colonists won the War and no longer had to pay for taxis.


Delegates from the original thirteen states formed the Contented Congress. Thomas Jefferson, a Virgin, and Benjamin Franklin were two singers of the Declaration of Independence. Franklin had gone to Boston carrying all his clothes in his pocket and a loaf of bread under each arm. He invented elec- tricity by rubbing cats backwards and declared "a horse divided against itself cannot stand." Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead.


George Washington married Matha Curtis and in due time became the Father of Our Country. Them the Constitution of the United States was adopted to secure domestic hostility. Under the Constitution the people enjoyed the right to keep bare arms.


Abraham Lincoln became America's greatest Precedent. Lincoln's mother died in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin which he built with his own hands. When Lincoln was President, he wore only a tall silk hat. He said, "In onion there is strength." Abraham Lincoln write the Gettysburg address while traveling from Washington to Gettysburg on the back of an envelope. He also signed the Emasculation Proclamation, and the Fourteenth Amendment gave the ex-Negroes citizenship. But the Clue Clux Clan would torcher and lynch the ex-Negroes and other innocent victims. On the night of April 14, 1865, Lincoln went to the theater and got shot in his seat by one of the actors in a moving picture show. The believed assinator was John Wilkes Booth, a sup- posedl insane actor. This ruined Booth's career.


Meanwhile in Europe, the enlightenment was a reasonable time. Voltare invented electricity and also wrote a book called "Candy". Gravity was invented by Issac Walton. It is chiefly noticeable in the Autumn, when the apples are flaling off the trees.


Bach was the most famous composer in the world, and so was Handel. Handel was half German, half Italian and half English. He was very large. Bach died from 1750 to the present. Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf he wrote loud music. He took long walks in the forest even when everyone was calling for him. Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died for this.


France was in a very serious state. The French Revolution was accomplished before it happened. The Marseillaise was the theme song of the French Revolu- tion, and it catapulted into Napoleon. During the Napoleonic Wars, the crowned heads of Europe were trembling in their shoes. Then the Spanish gorrilas came down from the hills and nipped at Napoleon's flanks. Napoleon became ill with bladder problems and was very tense and unrestrained. He wanted an heir to inheret his power, but since Josephine was a baroness, she couldn't bear him any children.


The sun never set on the British Empire because the British Empire is in the East and the sun sets in the West. Queen Victoria was the longest queen. She sat on a thorn for 63 years. He reclining years and finally the end of her life were exemplatory of a great personality. Her death was the final event which ended her reign.


The nineteenth century was a time of many great inventions and thoughts. The invention of the steamboat caused a network of rivers to spring up. Cyrus McCormick invented the McCormick Raper, which did the work of a hundred men. Samuel Morse invented a code for telepathy. Louis Pastuer discovered a cure for rabbis. Charles Darwin was a naturailst who wrote the "Organ of the Species". Madman Curie discovered radium. And Karl Marx became one of the Marx Brothers.


The First World War, cause by the assignation of the Arch-Duck by a surf, ushered in a new error in the anals of human history.


I pulled these from: http://home.sprynet.com/~owl1/hist.htm

44

The inauguration of the 44th president done in Legos!

President Obama, I am interested and excited to see what is going to happen during the next four years. You have many large tasks on your shoulders.

Mario!

I know that some may not consider the 80s as historical but this is just a piece of my personal history. Many hours were spent playing Mario games over the years.

This video makes me laugh so much.

Also, unless there is some change dude in a mario game I have never played is that a Barack Obama reference?

History Club Participates in Toro Iron Chef!

Toro Iron Chef Returns: The Secret Ingredient is Fun

Cuisine – and a good time- “reigned supreme” at Toro Iron Chef II, which was held on Oct. 29 in the Palm Courtyard of the Loker Student Union. Four teams of student “chefs” competed for the title during the hour-and-15-minute competition, where they were challenged to create dishes with lamb, the main ingredient that was kept a secret until the beginning of the contest.

Robert Hines, chef, Campus Dining Services, who joined the staff at California State University, Dominguez Hills last August, was excited to welcome students to his home turf.

“It’s not everyday you get to work with students like this and do such a fun event,” he said. “They have their ideas, they came prepared and they all seem to be excited about it. [I’ve never] had the chance to do something like this; it’s a welcome change of pace.”

The four teams reflected the diversity of students at CSUDH, bringing the flavors of their collective cultures to the table. “Rock 'B Cinna Rolls” brought music students to the kitchen with Josue Aguilar, Amanda Chavez, Hector Del Pino, II and Kevin Hodge. “Cooking Up Trouble” represented the campus’s History Club, with Stacey Atkins, Ashley Eggleston, Jessica Medrano and Jessica Rivera. The “Vicious Coco Squad” included Joyce Auvele, Samrach Em, Ennisha Kyles and Sonya Tuuao. “Team Caliente” rounded out the competition with Raquel Diaz, Brandon Fuller, Michael Martinez and Carlos Rodriguez.

Auvele, a junior in business and marketing, said that her team chose the name to honor the Samoan heritage that she and Tuuao share and to give them a fighting edge.

“Basically, we wanted to have a name that was intimidating,” she laughed. “[And] it includes that kind of island thing, like coconut.”

The aspiring chefs stocked their work stations with an array of ingredients that reflected many ethnic cuisines: ginger, masa, black beans and pasta. Del Pino, a Cuban native who confessed to watching the Food Network the way that other young men watch sports, said that everyone in his group loves to cook.

“In high school, I was fortunate to get in the kitchen and try some things,” said Del Pino, a junior in digital media arts. “I love pastas, I love Cuban food.”

However, when it comes to the kitchen, it’s a small world after all. Del Pino hinted that one of the team’s offerings was going to be Asian-inspired and indicated his teammate Aguilar was working on another dish: pupusas filled with the secret ingredient.

“It’s a traditional dish from El Salvador,” said Aguilar, “they’re like stuffed tortillas.”

The judges, two of whom are professional chefs, eagerly waited to taste the results of the students’ work. Brunson Achiu, a chef for Sysco Foods, expressed his concern over the difficulty of preparing the secret ingredient.

“The leg of lamb is a tough piece of meat, so they have to find a way to tender it up,” he said. “It’s made for roasting [which] tenderizes the meat. Stir frying and other techniques make it tougher. We’ll see what kind of interesting dishes they come up with. They’re really enthusiastic about doing a good job out here.”

Joining Achiu at the judges’ table were Natasa Christodoulidou, assistant professor of hospitality management; Michael Cruz, executive chef, Home Depot Center; Joy Masha, vice president of operations, Associated Students, Inc. (ASI); Mary Ann Rodriguez, vice president of Administration and Finance and Randy Zarn, associate vice president of Student Affairs.

Toro Iron Chef II was sponsored by the Loker Student Union; Toro Productions; Campus Dining Services; the Multicultural Center; Anza Event Rentals; Republic Master Uniforms; the University Bookstore and Sysco Food Service.

Masha, whose Team Half and Half won the Toro Iron Chef title last fall, enjoyed being on the other side of the range this time.

“I get to enjoy sitting back here watching their frustration,” she laughed. “It’s very exciting... knowing that I’m going to decide who wins tonight.”

The winning team “Rock ‘B Cinna Rolls” came out over first runner-up “Vicious Coco Squad.” Along with their titles, the winners were given their chef’s coats and toques, which were donated by Republic Master Uniforms. In addition, Hines hoped that the experience will inspire some of its participants to a career in the culinary arts.

“I don’t want to say [it will] change their life, but...I guarantee there’s going to be some kids that come out of this that will want to come and work in the kitchen,” he said, “ or at least show some interest [in cooking].”

Hines displayed a curiosity about food when very young, finding a passion for cooking.

“As a young kid, I always used to watch cooking channels,” he remembered. “Whenever we went out to eat, I would always order the most awkward thing on the menu, I was never afraid of anything. [After] I got out of high school, my mom opened the newspaper and there was a full-page ad for the California School of Culinary Arts. She asked me if I would like to go to school to learn how to cook. I said, ‘Yeah,’ and the rest is history.”

History was a recurring theme at Toro Iron Chef II. Among the spectators – many of whom got to sample the chefs’ offerings, was Christopher Monty, assistant professor of history, who came out to cheer his students to victory.

“I’m very proud of my students,” said the advisor to the History Club, as Rivera brought him a plate of “Cooking Up Trouble’s” samples. “Cuisine is a part of the culture of [a] people. Historians have been paying more attention to things like that for the last 50 years because it gives us access to everyday life.”

Other familiar faces from the first Iron Chef contest were alumnus Markus Biegel, who reprised his role as “The Chairman,” the mythical host of the original “Iron Chef” series made in Japan, and Toby Bushee, catering and event manager of Campus Dining, who emceed the evening’s program.

“This is amazing to watch the second Iron Chef competition go,” said Bushee, who established the event on campus last October. “It’s a dream come true.”

- Joanie Harmon



http://www.csudh.edu/univadv/dateline/studentnews/toroironchef.htm

Donald Duck - Der Fuehrer's Face

A Cartoon of AntiNazi Propaganda...

Political Pastry

I found this awhile ago. I know it is from people who don't love Palin. My thoughts on her are irrelevant, but lets just say that I LOVE cupcakes! and like many Americans I can't wait til November 5th.


original link
http://haphazardgourmet.blogspot.com/2008/09/sarah-palin-no-blink-cupcakes.html

It sucks....

That you have to pay 35 dollars to graduate from College!

Oh well, I am doing the paperwork on Monday!

Spring 2009 I will be a college grad!

I mostly just wanted to update...

I will prolly post a video of a historical nature soon.